i guess the problem is that i think too much. and that i have these ideas of what life should be like for me and how i should feel and what’s supposed to happen. i keep wanting things to go a certain way and for people to be a certain way and feel certain things…and when it doesn’t happen like that, i feel let down. i keep wanting my life to shape out in this way that leaves out the possibility of it shaping out how it may… on its own. the truth is, i’m pretty sure that whatever life has in store for me is better than anything i could have planned because i really don’t know what it is i want out of life. and so maybe hoping for things and wishing things to be … well, maybe it’s just utterly pointless. life is going to come at me as it will, regardless of whether or not i want it to, so i might as well just take it as it comes. i could fret about how it’s not what i wanted, or i can take everything that happens as what just… is, and there’s nothing i can do about it and nothing that i should want to do about it. maybe happiness is how you react to the things that you can’t change. maybe the happiest people have the lowest expectations. maybe the happiest people trust that the best is yet to come. maybe i just think too much.
“If I was to break, then I would have shattered.
If I was to stay strong, then I would not be here.
For it is the man who crumbles, hairline fracture
By hairline fracture, splits that burst like scars
Of flashing lights, down the walls, through every
Hall of the red-bricked body that makes a builder
Out of clean hands, and fills them with wet mortar.”
“Hope, oh what a funny word. Wasn’t like I was expecting all this falling down. I sit by the window watching the air that you breathe, so far away. I’m yours, I’m yours.”
Angus & Julia Stone, I’m Yours.
open your eyes and observe everything. open your ears and listen to everyone. at night, listen to the silence. open your heart and leave it open. open your mind and think. then open your mouth and say what you will. - EJM.